Due Date Today

So it looks as if my due date is going to come and go just like any other day. How depressing. Went to the doctor on Wednesday and once the doctor left the room I just started crying out of frustration and sleep deprivation. I hate going in week after week just to hear, "No change. Your cervix is still closed." So I'm probably going to go in next week just to hear the same thing. Except they'll bring me in Thursday night to take pills to get things going, then induce me Friday morning. I have never been so upset with doctors before, not listening to my concerns or anything. Last appointment I barely got a word in edgewise unless he was asking me a question. So Park Hill will probably not be getting me as a patient the next time around. I don't like not having the same doctor, having to go into labor and delivery late at night, be pestered by who my doctor is, have no answer for them, and not have one doctor who knows my full pregnancy history. It's really frustrating. Because I know if I would've gone to Washington Regional that I wouldn't have to be waiting a whole extra half-week after I'm 41 weeks to give birth. One of my friends was offered to be induced a week before she was due because she was so uncomfortable. Anyway, enough of my ranting. I still have yet to get a good night's sleep without the aid of Tylenol PM (meaning more than 5 hrs). I guess this is my body's way of gearing me up for what's to lie ahead. On the flip side, I'm going to finally be a parent next week. It's still a hard pill to swallow. I can't believe that I'm finally going to be able to hold the thing that has been wiggling around inside of me, giving me abdominal pains like crazy, making me uncomfortable like crazy for about 10 months now. Bryan's not helping telling him to stay in my belly as long as he wants :( He just doesn't understand. I keep trying to tell him next time it's his turn, but he keeps insisting he has a coupon that gets him out free. I need to steal this coupon. Anyway, hopefully before next Thursday I'll be able to start posting pictures of him, but it's not likely. Both my brother and I were induced babies, so usually the trend follows unfortunately. If this is the case, I'm hoping he's like me and comes out in 4 hours. That'd be beautiful. Anyway, for those of you who are planning to come to the hospital: if I'm not wearing makeup and my hair isn't straightened, cameras are off-limits until my mother can work magic. Ha. But I'm serious. I have gross under-eye circles from lack of sleep and I just can't deal with seeing myself on facebook like that :( Narcissistic thinking, maybe... just don't want to be seen at my very worst. I WILL keep you out of my room. Hahahaha :) Or talk to the nurse about confiscating all digital cameras and camera phones. Anyway, until then.

Dear Maxwell,
You weren't supposed to really take after me. You're supposed to be able to be talked into things like your daddy. Especially when I'm pleading with you to come out for weeks. And when you start taking away my precious sleep :( I get cranky and irritable and your dad doesn't really like it. He leaves me alone for a while until he has to go to work because that's probably the best way to handle someone who is going crazy without sleep. And I don't think that it's healthy to be co-dependent on Tylenol PM, so I let you win most of the time at night. Daddy thinks I'm crazy, but I feel like I know what I'm doing. We only have so much time left before the doctors force you out. So we can do this the easy way or the easier way. Ha :) I certainly hope that you choose to come before they use medicine. If you didn't know this, I'm kind of anti-medicine unless I absolutely HAVE to take it. And usually if your daddy finds out that I have to get medicine, then I end up getting it too :( Not to mention googling the pros and cons of induction really have me freaked out about what could happen. I'm scared, I'm tired, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm ready to fall in love at first sight :) I love you little one. Your bed's waiting for you this coming week.

Love always,
Mommy

"A baby is something you carry inside of you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart 'til the day you die."
-Mary Mason