Spring cleaning

So within the past week my ex has had his son and today I began putting away old newborn clothes of Max's to stash for my little brother. I got to a certain outfit - it was a Life's Good outfit with a tiger on it and remembered the exact day Max wore it - the day he came home from the hospital... and it brought back a TON of memories... how exhausted I was, although I wouldn't succumb, the extra lbs I cried about because I thought I'd NEVER get back in shape, but most of all, the time I spent staring at my son and realizing how truly blessed I was to have a new life. Slowly my exhaustion became overwhelming and I got frustrated VERY easily. There were nights when I threw pillows, binkies, bottles, everything. And now I've seen how far I've come. Those days still happen, but very rarely. He can sit and cry in my ear and now as opposed to then, I can handle it. I've come a long way, there are moments I wouldn't trade. But if I could, for just a minute, step back in time to relive his birth day I would. Now with him able to chew on his legs, lay in his crib, and keep himself entertained, it's still very bittersweet but a proud moment for what I've made, how independent he's become, and how he's reaching his milestones like no other.
Just make sure you always need your mommy little Max.